THE CONTENTIOUS SPIRIT
THE CONTENTIOUS SPIRIT
I came to the realization through some self examination that I have had a contentious spirit. The Bible speaks quite a bit about having a contentious spirit, often warning against it and urging believers to pursue peace, humility, and unity instead. This is not to say that we should not defend the truth or rebuke false teachings and teachers, but instead the motive behind these actions. If we are not careful we can allow ourselves to be overtaken by these things and become a contentious person. A contentious spirit usually refers to someone who is quarrelsome, argumentative, or divisive, often stirring up strife rather than fostering harmony. Here are some key passages that address this:
Proverbs
Proverbs 21:19 – “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”
→ This highlights how draining and disruptive a contentious attitude can be, particularly in close relationships.
Proverbs 26:21 – “As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”
→ A contentious person feeds conflict, keeping arguments going instead of calming things down.
Proverbs 17:14 – “The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.”
→ Stop a quarrel before it starts, because once it begins, it can be hard to contain.
Proverbs 18:2 – “A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.”
→ An argumentative person often doesn’t seek understanding, but is more interested in proving their own point
New Testament
Galatians 5:19–21 – “Now the works of the flesh are manifest… hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies… they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
→ A contentious spirit is a work of the flesh, not of the Spirit, and is condemned as a serious spiritual issue.
Titus 3:9–11 – “But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions… A man that is an heretic after the first and second admonition reject.”
→ Paul tells Titus to steer clear of useless arguments and to reject people who persist in being divisive.
2 Timothy 2:24 – “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.”
→ God’s servant is not to be quarrelsome but should model gentleness and patience.
A contentious spirit is consistently portrayed in Scripture as something harmful, rooted in pride or the flesh, and opposed to the character of Christ. God calls His people to be:
Peacemakers (Matthew 5:9)
Humble and gentle (Ephesians 4:2)
Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19)
A contentious person often:
Likes to debate or argue, even over small things
Stirs up conflict instead of resolving it
Is quick to take offense and slow to forgive
May be driven by pride, insecurity, or a desire to be right
Synonyms:
Quarrelsome
Argumentative
Combative
Hostile
Antagonistic
In a biblical or spiritual context, being contentious goes beyond just having strong opinions—it reflects a heart attitude that resists peace, unity, and humility. That’s why Scripture warns against it.
Common Traits of Contentious Questions:
Loaded or accusatory tone
“So you're saying we should just ignore the Bible?”
Seeking to provoke, not understand
“What kind of Christian believes that?”
“Are you really that naïve?”
Interrupting to argue instead of listening to the answer
They ask, then jump in before you can finish.
Overly aggressive “whataboutism”
Asking questions they think they already know the answer to—just to make a point
There is a way to ask and address people that are not constantly contentious. A soft answer turns away wrath but a hard answer stirs up wrath. Certainly are goal is to help people understand and not push them away. It is easy for us to believe we are hated and being persecuted for spreading the truth when in reality we are hated and persecuted because of our contentious spirit.
Self-Examination Questions:
Do I enjoy debating or arguing, even over small matters?
Do you find yourself eagerly engaging in arguments, even when they aren't necessary or productive?
Do I often feel the need to prove that I'm right?
Are you driven by the need to be right, even at the expense of relationships or peace?
Am I quick to take offense when others disagree with me?
Do you get angry or frustrated when someone has a different opinion or viewpoint?
Do I regularly seek to be the center of attention in conversations?
Is your desire to "win" the conversation more important than seeking mutual understanding?
Do I interrupt or speak over others during conversations?
Do you dominate discussions by interrupting or speaking without allowing others to fully express their thoughts?
Do I find myself bringing up past disagreements or conflicts?
Do you have a tendency to bring up old arguments or grievances rather than letting them go and moving forward?
Am I critical or judgmental of others’ views or actions?
Do you quickly criticize others or look for faults in their thinking or behavior?
Do I struggle to admit when I’m wrong?
Are you resistant to admitting fault or seeking reconciliation in disagreements?
Do I often feel the need to “correct” others, even when they don’t ask for it?
Is your tendency to "fix" others' opinions more about being right than about helping them?
Do I tend to escalate conflicts instead of calming them?
Are you more likely to raise the stakes in a disagreement or create more tension rather than seeking resolution?
Am I quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger? (James 1:19)
Do I approach disagreements with humility, seeking peace and understanding? (Romans 12:18)
Do you find yourself losing all your friends?
Do you find yourself constantly in arguments?
Do you find yourself "burning all your bridges"?
Do you find yourself to have a haughty attitude?
Do you find yourself very pessimistic about people?
Do you lack patience, grace, mercy and forgiveness?
if so you might have a contentious spirit...